It's come to my attention that my 'delete' button on my MacBook is broken, and has been for a while. My dear friend Reneta empathised with me on the same situation. She jokingly remarked, 'Seems like we've made too many mistakes.' However, I think she made an excellent point. So I think it's only appropriate now for me to get personal and elaborate.
Humans make mistakes. And I happen to make a lot of them. (Or I might just be really harsh on myself, and others.) See, mistakes and regrets are the top two interchangeable things I often resent myself for. I start to think, Wasn't it a right decision at the time, the best one I could make with both my heart and mind? And if it really was, why am I doubting it now?
Then it hit me. You were a felicitous fraud. I began to see you in a new light, one I couldn't shake off. It was like re-reading treasured pages and having them scribbled on and torn and burnt. You were no longer bona fide. A tinge of hurt still lingers. Did I leave you the way you were completely, did I see the truth? Because at the time, I had faith in leaving. Yet I am always tentative - one of my weak points. Nostalgia continues to haunt. Your face entangled with mine somewhere far away and hazy. The peace; we were almost back to where we were. But I could only hold onto the lily-white flakes as they fell into place.
Sometimes we need to delete people or things out of our life. It can be as simple as extracting the problem. Such an option at our fingertips bears responsibility. We need to weigh our options up intricately, and roll with the better judgement. It's easy to get carried away, especially if you're not at fault. But we need to learn to function on our own. Take time to yourself and contemplate it. If surely and slowly, it all fades away, then it's gone. Call it a grand scheme, if you shall - to atone for these peeled possessions.
Yet, what if you're meant to stay - for good this time? Much like anyone else, I'm still trying to find an answer.
'You know that I belong to be, reflections of myself. Let it all out. Just let it all out, to find the feeling.' - DMA's